


Love knows no bounds... I guess

by artsies



Category: Marvel
Genre: Animate Object, Crack, Gen, Other, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 01:26:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18188012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsies/pseuds/artsies
Summary: How… odd, Loki thinks, fumbling around his apartment, I lost my helmetagain.





	Love knows no bounds... I guess

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving from my tumblr. Originally posted October 11th, 2012. Absolutely unashamed crack.

How… odd, Loki thinks, fumbling around his apartment, I lost my helmet _again_.

Theoretically, it should be impossible to misplace something he has such a strong magical hold on, but the world is a strange place, full of theoretical impossibilities like happy endings and pudding, so once in a while even Loki’s helmet - or, good heavens, his socks, don’t even get him started on socks - may go missing.

How incredibly frustrating though. He won’t look half as good trying to take over Midgard without it.

\- - -

“Bruuuuce! Have you seen my helmet?”

Dr. Banner puts down his pen with a soft sigh, glancing up at his armor-clad friend clanking through the door. Tony Stark’s head looks almost comically small, sticking out of all that metal, like a snail and his house.

“No, I haven’t. What are you up to?”

“Just wanted to take it out for a test ride. I’m taking a break from the new prototype.”

“Another one? You’ve been producing dozens a week lately.”, Ironman shrugs a little, defiant. “… You know, if you want to talk…”

Though Bruce trails off delicately, he can see it in the set of Tony’s jaw that he isn’t there yet, can’t quite form whatever dread haunts him into words; and that’s okay.

The time will come.

“It’s for the greater good, Bruce.”, he says solemnly.

Dr. Banner picks up his pen again.

“The greater good? I’m the greatest good you’re ever going to get!”

“You did not just go there.”

\- - -

“Where is your charming headgear, Reindeer Games?”

Loki hesitates on what to answer. On the one hand, his most entertaining flyting habit with Tony Stark demands a form of… honor and honesty, shall we say. (And it has nothing to do with the fact Ironman is his, ah, favorite Avenger.) On the other, it was none of the man’s ymirdamned business.

“I can’t find it.”, he answers with a calculated shrug, inching closer to the weapon Ironman is supposed to be guarding from him. He’s surprised, having been expecting some sort of jibe, when the human mutters ‘oh, you too?’ under his breath.

Oh?

You too?

“Either someone is stealing famous helmets, or this is a very odd coincidence.”, Tony Stark muses, stepping in the way again as though it is absolutely unintentional, but Loki’s attention is already elsewhere.

“Coincidences happen a lot less than you midgardians believe them to. When was the last time you saw yours?”

“A week ago? Why, do you think they ran off together or something?”, Ironman laughs, opening his headgear to look Loki straight in the eyes.

\- - -

“They ran off together.”, Tony mumbles in horror as they try to creep up on - they, as in he and Loki, would you look at that - their respective helmets sitting? lying? in a field of flowers. The horns on Loki’s helmet are moving like a pair of feeler’s of some bug, and his helmet is alit without an energy source.

According to Loki’s very grand and most complicated theory, his magic has finally rubbed off a bit too much. Needless to say, he is most unsatisfied with this explanation.

“Yes. I believe we have already established that a couple of times.”, his partner in crime hisses through his teeth, pushing him back down onto his stomach; by whatever odd logic, they hazard that they won’t be seen from behind this bush, and so can make a surprise attack on their belongings.

“Don’t you find it disturbing? Our helmets getting hitched?! What’s next, little baby helmets?”, he whispers back, bumping the alien’s shoulder with his own. (All his fault this happened anyway.)

Loki looks surprised for all of two seconds, before stating matter-of-factly, “I do so hope they get married first, if it must come to that.”

Tony drops his head onto his arms. His life. His choices.


End file.
